*sigh*

[zimon66]

Long story short, things not going good with Kitsune. I don't matter to him and I'm probably going to have to break it off pretty soon.

I don't want to do this, he's VERY special to me - it's rare that I love anyone. But as much as he matters to me, I don't to him. Wish it was different, but it's not. Going to send off an email soon, if he doesn't tell me EXACTLY what he wants - it's over. I can't keep going on with this pain - thought when I told him a couple of weeks back how I truly felt about him everything would work out, fall into place, both be happy, etc.,. - it didn't, for me anyway.

The sad part is, although I know full well that this is Reality and sometimes the worst curse to come out of Pandora's Box is "Hope", I'm still wishing/hoping for a Hollywood movie ending "Happily ever after" and yet know it's not going to happen.

Probably be back to being 100% single soon - not that I'm looking, just making a statment.

Comments

[thyamath.livejournal.com]

Most probably it wont help when I say this, but I'll keep my fingers crossed for you...
Hope it will work out the best for you both...

[zimon66]

You see that snowball that just rolled into Hell over there - place your bet on that, the odds are far better - LOL!!!

I haven't heard from him for over 2 weeks now - maybe he's dead *shrugs* - interesting, I'm not bothered at all with that thought, guess all that intense crying I did off/on for the last couple of days got him out of my system:)

[sublime8ball.livejournal.com]

I went through something similar a few years ago. Heart and soul. Met her twice. It went on for almost 3 years. Started as a friend online, turned into something bigger. Once all the plans were starting to line up to make our fairy tale happen, all hell broke loose. I could go on for days why it was perfect. I could talk for hours about how much I love(d) her. I can sum up in a sentence why it fell apart - The one who loves the least controls the relationship. That is cruel gospel. I emailed on a regular basis and at first she replied on a regular basis. Then it became a once a week "ordeal" for her. Sometimes I would go for almost two weeks... then there were periods where I didn't hear from her for a month or more. When I recieved emails, they were lovely things telling me how she always thought of me. I was a junkie waiting for my fix... Finally after circumstances beyond either of our control occured, we argued, she called me a liar, and I haven't spoken to her since.

Despite my warning:
Good luck - just because my Fairy Tale imploded doesn't mean I don't want others to be happy.

[zimon66]

I'm afraid that sounds way too simular to what I have going on - still haven't heard back from him and probably never will.

I'm not bothered by that, he had PLENTY of chances to set things straight but it ALWAYS wound-up being me who acted on them.

Finally got tried of having to do it all - his loss not mine.

Re:

[sublime8ball.livejournal.com]

"Finally got tried of having to do it all - his loss not mine."

Very Stoic. Easy to say - harder to feel.
Always been one of the bozos who believes that love should include moments of Fairytale-like bliss with firm doses of reality to keep everybody grounded. When the story is seen as a Fairytale by only one of two readers, while the other one doesn't even bother to read... that is when the fun ends - This whole "thing" is supposed to promote growth and be fun dammit!! Grrr... I want a friggin refund...