Waiting at the Crossroads
Nov. 26th, 2002 11:05 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
zimon66Update on the kitsune situation - after the depressing post I did regarding him, emailed him about deciding whether I should stay or go. He had to make the decision and I would go along with whatever he choosed.
I've tried to go (numerous times) but can't - know too much and bound myself to him. He wanted someone to care about him I wanted somebody to care about and Fate threw us together. The binding because it was something that had to be done - don't want to go into details, but my gut instinct said to do it and gut instinct is never wrong.
Anyway, got a reply back yesterday - and it was not a decision but a "Day in the Life of......"???!!!! I don't think he reads much of my emails if at all. He knows I have a LJ, even has the link, but highly doubt if he's bothered to take a look.
Replied back with a "Day in the Life of Z" and ended with "Guess I'll talk to you whenever you email back", so that ball is back in his court.
So back to waiting.
What's sadly funny is in his LJ, the last entry I read before taking a vow to let him have his privacy, that he was "tired of trying to make things happen" - if I'm reading that right, he means he's tired of trying to make a personal relationship happen.
Well, when it comes to me he sure as hell hasn't been trying - I'm the one who has been 24/7 trying to make things happen - so reading that remark didn't rub right at all.
Oh excuse me if we don't live in the same state and you think love is only possible if there's a physical nature involved as well.
Could have my pick of just about anybody - but I want him and nobody else. It's not lust or infatuation, but true feelings I got for that Helen Kellored fox.
He knows it all, but for some reason........indecision? Told him to take a week or 2 to decided if I stay or split.
He hasn't said a word about any of this to me.......it's win/win for him so what's the problem?
He has to make a decision - I can't spell it into his hand for him.
So, I'm going to quietly sit and wait at the crossroads.
Gut instinct has repeatedly said to trust him.
Wish it could tell me WHY I should trust him.
I've tried to go (numerous times) but can't - know too much and bound myself to him. He wanted someone to care about him I wanted somebody to care about and Fate threw us together. The binding because it was something that had to be done - don't want to go into details, but my gut instinct said to do it and gut instinct is never wrong.
Anyway, got a reply back yesterday - and it was not a decision but a "Day in the Life of......"???!!!! I don't think he reads much of my emails if at all. He knows I have a LJ, even has the link, but highly doubt if he's bothered to take a look.
Replied back with a "Day in the Life of Z" and ended with "Guess I'll talk to you whenever you email back", so that ball is back in his court.
So back to waiting.
What's sadly funny is in his LJ, the last entry I read before taking a vow to let him have his privacy, that he was "tired of trying to make things happen" - if I'm reading that right, he means he's tired of trying to make a personal relationship happen.
Well, when it comes to me he sure as hell hasn't been trying - I'm the one who has been 24/7 trying to make things happen - so reading that remark didn't rub right at all.
Oh excuse me if we don't live in the same state and you think love is only possible if there's a physical nature involved as well.
Could have my pick of just about anybody - but I want him and nobody else. It's not lust or infatuation, but true feelings I got for that Helen Kellored fox.
He knows it all, but for some reason........indecision? Told him to take a week or 2 to decided if I stay or split.
He hasn't said a word about any of this to me.......it's win/win for him so what's the problem?
He has to make a decision - I can't spell it into his hand for him.
So, I'm going to quietly sit and wait at the crossroads.
Gut instinct has repeatedly said to trust him.
Wish it could tell me WHY I should trust him.
