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Feb. 17th, 2003 08:45 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
zimon66The local Goth jazz seems to be getting bigger by the minute which would be fine and dandy except it's playing havoc off/on with my self-esteem.
Haven't met anybody as of yet in the flesh, but been keeping on top of things/in contact with via the message boards - I'm feeling geekier everytime I look at those boards.
OK, did self pep-talk - "Just be yourself, if they don't like it, tough!!! You're not the only one who probably feels that for whatever reason you don't fit in - just try to interact with others and keep your eyes peeled for those who could be feeling geeky too and need a little reasuring!"
I feel better for doing that - shouldn't be making a call on a future situation when it hasn't happened yet and looking for an excuse to hide from the World (again).
It's damn hard though - been a recluse for so long, plus I never really learned how to comfortably interact with others. As a kid, was shy and passive, went thru a rough adolesense too (being a "geek" wasn't enough, puberty had to make me look like one as well *grumble* still have skin problems to this day) - it didn't help any either if I had little in common with the other person. Gradually came to the point of not being social outside of work or the Net.
Well, the time has come to try and change that - dunno why really - could sit here until the cows come home listing possible reasons, but not going to do that because may start dwelling on the negative again.
Besides, there's better ways to spend that time - I got to do a search to find where online I can get a realistic looking stuff toy hyena (LOL - actually serious believe it or not).
Haven't met anybody as of yet in the flesh, but been keeping on top of things/in contact with via the message boards - I'm feeling geekier everytime I look at those boards.
OK, did self pep-talk - "Just be yourself, if they don't like it, tough!!! You're not the only one who probably feels that for whatever reason you don't fit in - just try to interact with others and keep your eyes peeled for those who could be feeling geeky too and need a little reasuring!"
I feel better for doing that - shouldn't be making a call on a future situation when it hasn't happened yet and looking for an excuse to hide from the World (again).
It's damn hard though - been a recluse for so long, plus I never really learned how to comfortably interact with others. As a kid, was shy and passive, went thru a rough adolesense too (being a "geek" wasn't enough, puberty had to make me look like one as well *grumble* still have skin problems to this day) - it didn't help any either if I had little in common with the other person. Gradually came to the point of not being social outside of work or the Net.
Well, the time has come to try and change that - dunno why really - could sit here until the cows come home listing possible reasons, but not going to do that because may start dwelling on the negative again.
Besides, there's better ways to spend that time - I got to do a search to find where online I can get a realistic looking stuff toy hyena (LOL - actually serious believe it or not).
