(no subject)
May. 1st, 2003 12:46 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
zimon66No matter how bad it gets, I still love Kitsune - yet I wish there was a way to end it, to cut out my heart and throw it into the deep freeze and stop the pain.
I'm not the type to love just anybody - to me it's something very special you don't do it with just anybody and as a result in my almost 37 years can count on one hand with some fingers missing the guys I truly loved.
So it's the real thing when I tell someone I love them, but thanks to the majority being so bloody flip with this most important of emotions that when most people get the real thing they don't realize what it is that they have.
It's not fair - I know love is so precious and it's to be given to someone special, not tossed out like breadcrumbs into a fish pond, so I'm very careful with it and treat it with a great deal of respect. Meanwhile the majority squander it left and right, no thought or regard about sucking all the meaning out of it for whatever selfish purpose until it's about as special as a toaster, just something to be used.
So why am I the one who's being punished?
I'm not the type to love just anybody - to me it's something very special you don't do it with just anybody and as a result in my almost 37 years can count on one hand with some fingers missing the guys I truly loved.
So it's the real thing when I tell someone I love them, but thanks to the majority being so bloody flip with this most important of emotions that when most people get the real thing they don't realize what it is that they have.
It's not fair - I know love is so precious and it's to be given to someone special, not tossed out like breadcrumbs into a fish pond, so I'm very careful with it and treat it with a great deal of respect. Meanwhile the majority squander it left and right, no thought or regard about sucking all the meaning out of it for whatever selfish purpose until it's about as special as a toaster, just something to be used.
So why am I the one who's being punished?
no subject
Date: May. 1st, 2003 02:21 pm (UTC)To be able to go from heartache, to apathetic would be optimal.
So many of us linger on what could have beens, and wax poetic over regrets.
Wouldn't it be GRAND to just SHUT IT OFF ?
Freeze the pain, and put it away, until you can come back, and see the object of your disillusionment with clarity .
~ W ~
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Date: May. 2nd, 2003 01:31 am (UTC)What I said about taking my heart and throwing in the deep freeze, was being truthful but would I given the chance actually do it - no.
Yes, I wanted the pain that was happening at the time to stop but not if the love would go along with it.
My gut instinct has been giving the go-ahead for quite some time - gut instinct is NEVER wrong - so this love isn't something I should give-up on. Dunno what's going to happen down the line, but I got to trust my gut and keep going.