(no subject)

[zimon66]

No matter how bad it gets, I still love Kitsune - yet I wish there was a way to end it, to cut out my heart and throw it into the deep freeze and stop the pain.

I'm not the type to love just anybody - to me it's something very special you don't do it with just anybody and as a result in my almost 37 years can count on one hand with some fingers missing the guys I truly loved.

So it's the real thing when I tell someone I love them, but thanks to the majority being so bloody flip with this most important of emotions that when most people get the real thing they don't realize what it is that they have.

It's not fair - I know love is so precious and it's to be given to someone special, not tossed out like breadcrumbs into a fish pond, so I'm very careful with it and treat it with a great deal of respect. Meanwhile the majority squander it left and right, no thought or regard about sucking all the meaning out of it for whatever selfish purpose until it's about as special as a toaster, just something to be used.

So why am I the one who's being punished?

Comments

[of-salfarro.livejournal.com]

Love is punishing. What they are feeling isn`t love. You can`t squeeze the meaning out of an emotion. You either have it, or you don`t.

[zimon66]

Yeah, you're all too right about love having it's negative side - that's the problem with so many people they think when they're in love it's all supposed to be skittles and beer - and that is FALSE!!! Real love isn't like that, it's supposed to be both wonderful and bad, you're supposed to feel ALL of it - yes I was hurting BAD when I wrote that entry, but I do understand why it was happening and as painful as it is at times I don't regret being in love, if I really did I'd be over and done with the whole matter quite some time ago.

This is real and it's something I need to follow thru on no matter what happens or how painful it gets!!!

Still, I am angry at how love is treated with such disrespect by a great many people - those 3 little words shouldn't be tossed about like a bloody frisbee which too many people do. I know what real love is and I'm experincing it in all its power so seeing it misused and abused by others is upsetting.

[of-salfarro.livejournal.com]

Heh, I wrote a response here but it somehow didn`t post. Err, ok.. I said something like...

"Well, so what if they toss words around? Its irksome, but hey, it what you are feeling that is important."

[thyamath.livejournal.com]

So why am I the one who's being punished?

Because youre one of those people who are strong enough to feel it. Most of the others are afraid of their own feelings or hide because they dont want to be the ones being hurt.
Although youre feeling awfully bad right now, keep this precious gift of love alive.
You can either pity or hate the people who dont understand love in its whole, but it doesnt matter to them anyway... they just keep on with their lives, living their way of "love".
Everything what matters is in your heart. Being rejected is a hard thing, I know, but at least you say, that you loved, and thats what count, right?

[zimon66]

Your are the Greatest Dragon on Earth!!! You said what I was trying to say.

I haven't been rejected so far and feel it won't happen, but I have no real idea of where this is all going - time will tell.

[thyamath.livejournal.com]

Heh, *blushes* thank you!

[willowthered.livejournal.com]

I have recently been thinking of a "disenchantment spell" probably using the Isa rune.
To be able to go from heartache, to apathetic would be optimal.
So many of us linger on what could have beens, and wax poetic over regrets.
Wouldn't it be GRAND to just SHUT IT OFF ?
Freeze the pain, and put it away, until you can come back, and see the object of your disillusionment with clarity .

~ W ~

[zimon66]

Yes it would be great to turn it off, but would it be depending on what it is the right thing to do?

What I said about taking my heart and throwing in the deep freeze, was being truthful but would I given the chance actually do it - no.

Yes, I wanted the pain that was happening at the time to stop but not if the love would go along with it.

My gut instinct has been giving the go-ahead for quite some time - gut instinct is NEVER wrong - so this love isn't something I should give-up on. Dunno what's going to happen down the line, but I got to trust my gut and keep going.